My web site is devoted to medical and treatment information about this rare cancer. My blog is devoted to sharing what has been the more difficult part of the journey for me, the emotional and spiritual road I've traveled as a rare cancer survivor.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Relief

I feel relief...didn't know that I was going to feel such relief, but I do. My youngest daughter graduated from high school last week, and I am just back from her college orientation today. She is very excited about going away to school. Both of my kids will be away at college next year.

I remember a time when it seemed so unlikely that I would live long enough for my kids to leave me as independent adults. They were in grade school when I was diagnosed and not expected to live. But I've been able to see them grow to become great adults with good values. They are excited about becoming independent and living on their own, about living away from home and family. They want to spread their wings. While I'll be sad to have them both gone next year, for me that sadness is tempered by celebration.

Eight years ago my greatest wish was to not abandon my kids, but to live long enough for them to leave me. When I was diagnosed, I was the major force and presence in their lives, but their lives now have expanded beyond family to include new friends, new adult role models, new hopes, dreams and aspirations. While we will always love each other and be close, they don't need me in the same way they did as young children, they don't depend on me as much. That's a good thing.

I will be off-line for awhile, we are going on a family vacation. I really want to enjoy our family vacations while we can as I don't know how many more there will be, I don't know where their lives will take them in the upcoming years.

I'm so glad we made it to this day!

4 comments:

MomRev said...

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts about your hopes and dreams. How wonderful that you are seeing your children mature so they can fly on their own.

I was directed to your site by Carol Castenada, who is a wonderful elder at First Presbyterian Church of Crown Point, where I am interim pastor.

Yesterday, a dear friend was told that he has stomach cancer - after 29 hours waiting at Cook County Hospital. He is resting at my home. I am going with him to see the surgeon on Monday to take notes.

Thank you for your uplifting and helpful blog.

Rev. Kathy Keener-Han

Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik RN BSN said...

Hi Kathy!

I've heard great things about you from several people at First Presbyterian, I've wanted to come visit. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's diagnosis with stomach cancer. It sounds like you are a wonderful friend to him.

Thank you for your kind words,

Carolyn

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Carolyn!!! You are such an inspiration and your girls are very lucky to have a wonderful, loving mom like you!!!!

Love and hugs!!!

Lynda

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your beautiful story. Our best friend was just diagnosed with appendiceal and peritineal cancer. He had no symptoms until his stomach started to fill with fluid. Now his cancer is well advanced. I cried all day and only felt some relief when I read your story of hope. I'm praying for a full recovery.