My web site is devoted to medical and treatment information about this rare cancer. My blog is devoted to sharing what has been the more difficult part of the journey for me, the emotional and spiritual road I've traveled as a rare cancer survivor.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Loss

At one point I was told the odds of my dying were significantly better than my odds of surviving cancer. As a nurse I'd dealt with death and with dying patients for years. I'd been present with families immediately after a patient's death and saw their grief, they'd lost someone they loved as the dying person slipped into oblivion. The families and loved ones experienced loss.

My prognosis gave me another view, though. I viewed death now from the perspective of one who is dying. There was a terrible sense of impending loss. A dying person contemplates the loss of ALL of the people he or she loves at once. I contemplated losing my children, my husband, my best friend, and my extended family along with the loss my home, my job, my belongings. A total and complete loss of all that I loved and knew. When people lose children or spouses or homes or jobs, our society considers those individual losses extremely stressful and life altering. The dying person faces all of those losses simultaneously. It is overwhelming.

I believe in an afterlife and a Heaven, and that belief offers reassurance. But still, dying is the loss of all that is known for that which is unknown.

2 comments:

Carrie said...

I appreciate your blog very much. Thank you for sharing this.

In particular, this post is timely for me and my family. You write so well, the feelings really came through.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik RN BSN said...

Hi Carrie,

I am glad my blog is helpful to you in some way. I read some of your blog, it sounds like you have really been going through a lot. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers also.

Take care,

Carolyn