My web site is devoted to medical and treatment information about this rare cancer. My blog is devoted to sharing what has been the more difficult part of the journey for me, the emotional and spiritual road I've traveled as a rare cancer survivor.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Another New Year, Another New Blog

It was recently suggested to me that I add a blog to my website, that I personalize my site a bit. My daughter created an anonymous blog, an on-line journal, over a year ago. At the time the concept seemed appalling to me. I'm from the day when journals were called diaries. We wrote down our thoughts in small books that we locked with keys and hid under our beds. We wanted no one to have access to our innermost thoughts and feelings. The concept of publishing those thoughts to an international billboard, even anonymously, was beyond my comprehension.

I've since been thinking about a Christian author I admire, though. What I admire most about him is his honesty, his willingness to share with the world thoughts that most would keep hidden. Philip Yancy wrote that the topics of his books are the issues of faith that he struggles with. He seeks answers to questions we all have but are afraid to verbalize, "Where is God When it Hurts?", "Prayer, Does it Make any Difference?", "Disappointment with God:Three Questions No One Asks Aloud". In writing his books he is searching for answers himself, and in reading his books I feel grateful for being allowed to safely tag along on a road he is bold enough to travel.

In communicating with many cancer patients since my own diagnosis, I've found we all share struggles that we don't always talk about with friends and family. We find that after cancer treatment is completed, we are unable to go back to our "normal" lives, the normal we knew is forever gone. We have unanswered questions that resound in our heads, we have feelings and thoughts we are sometimes afraid to express. Part of surviving cancer, though, is finding those answers and coming to terms with what we think and feel. Surviving is also the reconstruction of our lives, the reconstruction of our hearts and minds and souls. It is the recreation of a new "normal".

In this blog I will recount my own ongoing attempt at reconstructing my life along with the challenges I've faced and continue to face as I try to make sense of my life after cancer. I promise to be as honest as I know how to be. I will ask the questions out loud. I will express the thoughts and feelings I've had as a cancer survivor. I'd love for you to tag along.

4 comments:

Steve said...

Prayers, hopes and best wishes go to you - and you family in what must be a testing time for you all!

You're not alone, as I'm undertaking a blog for a lady in our community here in NZ with the same terrible disease.

Unfortunately here in NZ there is no-one available to treat her, and so we're undertaking fundraising to send her oversea's for her treatment.

I hope you continue to progress with your recovery - 2007 will be the year of the "All Clear" for you I'm sure.

Supporttiffany

Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik RN BSN said...

I am familiar with Tiffany and check her web site frequently. Tiffany's husband found my web site and contacted me shortly after she was diagnosed when they were looking for treatment. I'm very glad she was able to have surgery and that it was successful. I read she is back home now, I'm very happy for her.

jodiwsnb said...

Hi- My mane is Jodi and I am an RN also- could you please tell me some of your symptoms- I have been having RLQ pain for 7 months- I have even joked that it is the longest brewing appy ever- The pain is intermittent- and radiates down the top of my thigh, is that at all similar to any of your symptoms? I didn't even know that there was CA of the appendix - Thanks for any feedback- BTW the Anne Morrow book is one of my favorites and have passed in to many ...

Carolyn Langlie-Lesnik RN BSN said...

Hi Jodi,

I had the right lower quadrant pain and the right thigh pain, but also abdominal pain that doubled me over and was very severe...I had peritonitis as my appendix had ruptured. I also had other problems, constipation, bladder spasms (my bowel had adhered to my bladder related to abdominal inflammation). If you think you have appendiceal issues, maybe ask for a CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis to evaluate it? Maybe that would give you some piece of mind if you are worried? At least go see someone to see what they recomend. Appendix cancer is rare, so odds are that's not it, but might make you feel better just to have it checked out.

Take care!

Carolyn